30 september 2011

well,here i am again....
today im teaching in my school,and my day was like usually,i think im getting usually with my thight schedule...well,i think,i just think that this is just a beginning,something worst and more busier will coming after this over and over...
i know life is never flatt.it normal yeah ... really
my friend says that be a kindergarden teacher is funny,well,thats true,i have a lot of fun,so far...just in case that might be something happens in the future,and i change my mind about my job...
however i dont really wants that be happen...but life is never flat isnt ??

here are the picture ive take with my student when we have an dancing extraculicular....

29 september 2011

i through my day normally....
i don't have something special,well today my laugh is less than yesterday,i don't know why,i just feel more bad today...
well today,i talk to the guy in my class,his name is ''SC''...he is a quite guy in the class,but i think its not when i talk to him,hes pretty talkative..well he told me about his ex girlfriend,we talk so much thing...
but once again,i hate this guy because he look the girl from physically ...i hate a man with that type...

yes may be because I'm ugly and I'm not a good looking person,i never had a confidence ....
and once again i said...
i am pathetic..
:(:(:(

28 september 2011

hmmh....i am labil.
well its normal in my age , i know...
hmmh,why i said that,because im gettin back with my boyfriend...well he keep asikng me to not break up,,uurrgh...i think ive been on my final decision.well yes,im know i am the one who foolish by him.but well,you dont been through what ive been through any way....
but this moment,i realize that he was work very hard to keep me on his side,to make me love him,and to do anything which made me happy..
well that impressing but not surprising...espsecially for someone like him,i knew from the first time that he will act like that.
well ummm...the problem is,i dont know,can i love him,or just be loved by him.
well.thats better than nobody wants to be loved you.
coz thats what happens when i love someone....the one who i love was never loved me,the way i did.
its pathetic ,, i know...:(:(:(


i always sad do i ? because  for me its easier to told the harder then to told the easier...
hhmmhhh....im fuckin freak am i? hahahaha.....

27 september 2011

Today,i through my day like i did yesterday,but the different,i realize that i so confused....

i loved sorry,i like too many guys in a week,that's was fatal.that was my weakness.i can love a boy even in one conversation,well that's not mean that i cant be loyal.yes i can,of course.i am very loyal,cause i know every single thing that we do,these always a paid for that.

but i still can make this fucking thing disappeared.so i decided to ended my relationship with my boyfriend,i told him the truth.cause,the fact i never love him,i just like him.i don't wanna pretend to love him cause its will Be same with be a liar,i don't want to be a liar,cause i don't like to be lie off...

i felt so guilty,and i know he was so route to me.but i am fucking confused of what i have gonna do.i don't wanna be a liar,but don't wanna made him so mad...
i feel my hole life was suck
even sometimes i hate everybody around me... :(:(:(

26 september 2011

this is something new for me,and something exhausted,i have a part time job,as a teacher,more amazing as a playgroup teacher,
i never like a children but I've tried,and i used all patient i have,well i don't say that it would be easy,but so far so good,now the problem isn't not on my job,but on my college...i know these a part of socialisation,and i know I've should try,but its more difficult then i have to face the children is looking for a friend,its more complicated...
so far i never found a friend like my high school friends,honestly...i missed them.so much
i just scared that ill have a mistake and choose the wrong friends,i knew its have to be through,and i don't say that its impossible .... but i just think that its hard.... :( :( :(

18 september 2011

im starting blogging,
even i never had an interest to blogging,but yes i madeit,because my friend lynda told me that i have to made thisblogforsomething important related to my college at gunadharma...
i think i even never updating my blog...
or editting it....
et see how much this blogg effect my life....